Book Rant-view: Five Nights at Freddy’s – The Twisted Ones (part 1)

 

Today we continue my ravings concerning the Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise with the focus on book two of the series published by Scholastic, The Twisted Ones.

As I mentioned in my post for the first book, my brief review for The Twisted Ones on Goodreads is by far my most “popular” review. It’s still getting some action, with the most recent comment being from June 2018. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m one of the few people giving it a low rating? Shockingly it has a 4.28 average – though I hardly consider Goodreads to be an accurate rating of most books.

Some of the gems left on my review:

“nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooo!”

“BRUH!!!!!!!!!!! DEEZ BOOKS ARE DA BOMB!!!!!! If these books go sour im gonna….. anyways DEEZ BOOKS ARE SOME OF DA BEST BOOKS I HAVE READ AND I HAVE READ LIKE 4000 different books!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Somehow I doubt this person has reads 4,000 books…

“I love the games and the books,and I understand that it does flaws,is a bit messy and could use some work but Scott’s trying his best to produce better content for us fans.You do need to give him a break cause he’s trying his hardest”

No, I don’t need to give him a break because I don’t believe for a minute that he’s trying his hardest to produce better content when it comes to these books.

Anyway! Book two picks up a year after the events of book one and Charlie finds herself accidentally enrolled in college and living with Jessica. She’s doing sit-ups and building her own robots (who apparently record every word that’s said in her and Jessica’s dorm, a thing Charlie doesn’t think is wrong or creepy) when a dead body turns up in a field and her old buddy, Police Chief Clay asks her to come check it out. Charlie discovers that four more evil animatronics are on the loose, escaped from a secret room in the basement of her father’s house that was revealed after a tornado tore through town. It appears these robots are after Charlie, so she has to find a way to confront them.

Yet again, this book doesn’t feel like it’s set in the 80s, other than the characters occasionally having to use payphones and not having cell phones.

The cast is familiar, though blessedly smaller this time around: Charlie, still boring as fuck, now with more erratic behavior and random dialogue. John, who still likes Charlie, despite seemingly not keeping in touch for a year. Jessica, who is still pretty and fashionable and has no reason to continue to be Charlie’s friend or roommate. Chief Clay, who is the worst cop and still a terrible adult. And Arty, a “friend” Charlie has a robotics class with, who serves no purpose.

The book opens with Charlie in her robotics class, during which she mostly draws rectangles in her notebook, where she’s thinking about her upcoming date with John. He apparently called her out of the blue and Charlie didn’t bother to ask him how he knew she was at college, simply thinking “Of course he would know.” Because that’s not creepy.

Charlie found herself in college accidentally. She moved out of her aunt’s house with plans of living in her dad’s rundown, abandoned house but instead slept in her car for a week. Then she dumped herself on Jessica’s lap and “slept on the floor the rest of the summer” and when Jessica didn’t kick her ass out, Charlie enrolled in college for the fall semester.

During her date with John, Charlie randomly announces she’s been doing sit-ups, because this is a thing people do. John, lured in by her non-sequiturs and halting conversations, continues to try to spend time with Charlie. John talks about how he’s in town doing construction work for the tornado that passed through a while back. Charlie was aware of the tornado and its presence in Hurricane, yet didn’t once think it could have passed through her father’s land. Thankfully John informs her it did and that the house was damaged, but not totally destroyed. The two set up a date for dinner and a movie later that night, but when Charlie gets back to her dorm, Chief Clay is waiting for her

He found a body in a field and decided that Charlie needed to take a look at it. The man is lying abandoned in a field, the scene of the crime conveniently devoid of other officers. Clay wants Charlie to examine the body because he suspects the wounds are related to the spring locks inside the animatronic suits they dealt with last year. Charlie immediately sticks her finger in one of the cuts on the body’s neck and then casually wipes the blood on her jeans. She asks Clay if she can see the man’s chest and he cuts through his shirt, “the sound of wet, tearing fabric cut through the silent field like a cry of pain,” and after viewing his wounds, declares it the work of spring locks.

On the ride back to Charlie’s dorm, the two discuss the events of the previous year. Clay mentions everything in the place was burned or destroyed, only they never found Dave’s body. Clay passes off the missing body by saying it was probably stuffed in some crevice because Freddy’s was like a maze. Pretty thorough police work there, Clay. He also adds that the blood they found where Dave’s body should have been was fake. I’m going to go ahead and say Dave didn’t have the foresight to predict Charlie would try to kill him when he tried to hold her hostage and rig his costume with fake blood. I call bullshit!

At this point, Charlie realizes she’s going to be late for her date with John and while she’s rushing about trying to get ready, she takes a moment to “[shake] her head like a dog shaking off a wet coat” which left me with a pretty hilarious mental image. Her date goes poorly, as usual, but they set up another one for the future. Jessica is excited because she loves shopping and wants to take Charlie clothes shopping for her date – though Charlie thinks the Thai food was “impossibly” expensive, so I’m not sure how she thinks she could afford clothes, how she pays for school, puts gas in her car or eats in general, as it doesn’t appear she has a job. Whatever. Jessica falls for this and Charlie brings her to the abandoned mall where Freddy’s was so they can take another look.

They happen to open a hatch under Foxy’s stage and find Dave’s gross body crammed inside, presumably by the vengeful spirits inhabiting the animatronics. They pull him out, because why not, and notice he’s not really decaying or rotted the way a body should be, more desiccated and dried up like a mummy. The girls decide this doesn’t bear any further investigating, nor does it warrant a call to Clay, so they continue on to the real mall for some shopping.

I understand there’s a paranormal element to these books – I’m totally on board with robots haunted by the souls of murdered children. But I don’t understand why Dave’s body doesn’t rot. Why wouldn’t his soul just go on to possess the suit he died in? What would cause him to be somewhat preserved and go on in a zombie-like state? Spoiler alert: he’s still “alive.”

Charlie and Jessica go on as if they didn’t discover the body of the man Charlie murdered and Charlie finds herself in study hall with Arty, who clearly wants to date her. Because all heroines need at least two boys to love them for no reason. Charlie ditches him though, because she has the sudden urge that she needs to go back to her father’s house. This whole time she’s been getting weird vibes related to her missing (and murdered, one assumes) brother Sammy. I guess she needs to go investigate further. But on the way she sees some birds circling in a field and gets a funny feeling, so she stops to check it out.

Turns out it’s another body, bearing similar marks as the last, seemingly murdered by an animatronic suit. Charlie thinks the woman looks just like her, because she has brown hair, styled the same way and a round face. She decides the woman’s features are different, but not that different. She touches this body too, because crime scenes don’t matter to her. She calls Clay from a nearby gas station and when he shows up he declares the girl looks like Charlie too. Charlie argues not that much and Clay says the girl could be her twin. Charlie relents and says she knows the woman looks like her. Thrilling dialogue, guys.

Clay lets on that another body was discovered earlier in the day and that he thinks the murders will keep happening unless he and Charlie can find a way to stop them. Charlie asks to go to the house of the woman whose body they’re still standing near. Clay agrees, because he’s a horrible cop. The woman happens to have her wallet and ID on her so Charlie can trot off to her house, which also happens to be unlocked and conveniently empty. The only thing of interest she finds are four shallow graves in the backyard, whose images stay in her mind “like a stain.”

~

This series remains in my mind like a stain. Once again, I’m going to break up my rant into two parts. Hopefully, your eyes haven’t already glazed over with boredom. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!

5 thoughts on “Book Rant-view: Five Nights at Freddy’s – The Twisted Ones (part 1)

  1. (K)noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo(w) that this shit is hilarious to read, even though I’ve never read and/or heard of this series before you told me about it

  2. I be another reader who has never heard of the series before and has no interest in reading these. However yer spoiler filled rants about them are cracking me up and bring me so much enjoyment. I can’t wait for the next part!
    x The Captain

    • Haha I’m so glad you enjoy them! I know I like a good ranty review about a bad book, even if I’ve never read it. I’m entertaining myself writing these and I just hope I’m entertaining those who decide to read them.

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